I've been spending the last two hours making a collage of Justin Bieber eating people's souls. I haven't been able to journal since new years, I should be in a writing mood.... But, I can't seem to muster anything up. It seems like I'm still in an observing mood. This time exactly one year ago, I was sitting on a couch in a house in the country... In front of a flat-screen television that had been busted in a previous scuffle. The moving SIGNS with Mel Gibson was playing, about aliens, and I was trying to pay attention though my mind kept wondering off in the winter breeze. I remember there was snow on the ground, and my car slid around quite a bit as I drove home.

The hot shower felt amazing. I was staring at my bright yellow wall and the dust in the crease of the windowseal as my phone started ringing, and a feeling in my stomach made me realize that nothing good would come of it. The rest of the morning was all bright florescent lights, tears and goodbyes..


There's a lot of stress in life. There's a lot of everything in life, and I try to take it all as it comes. And as far as pleasing other's goes, though my body may remain somewhat useless... I love all the parts of the struggle that brings me to the surface of the water. It's the pool that is continuous emotional struggle. Even naked and honest, it's still hard to overcome the waves that wash over me. Over and over, crimson and clover.