xXxmas

It's taken a lot of patience and nicotine gum, but I have to say it's been a decent christmas. That still doesn't alter the fact that my left calf is throbbing with an annoying sort of twitching pain, and also so full of fluid that it's almost twice the size of my other leg. It almost feels as if I'm wearing desensitized, weighted socks as I gently lift my knee, keeping my held up for support - and try somewhat hopelessly to walk from one area to another. I could probably race a turtle and lose hopelessly at the moment, and I wish I weren't serious. Moving is almost an unbearable sin to myself.

I guess if you consider it wholly and truly, you somewhat have to see why I feel like I'm not capable of accomplishing much. Still, I aimlessly wander through the possibilities, hoping that the trivial things I've grown to love will someday inspire a faithful decision. Hoping that the trivial things I've grown to love won't become a regretted waste of time; like my first relationship. Reading all four of the twilight books in high school, actually paying money to see the first movie. Like arguing when you know you're wrong, because it hurts too much to admit you couldn't possibly be right.

My dad is seriously watching that tripple x movie. Samuel L's face looks like a make-up artist was trying to make him look burned or something, but instead accidentally took a shit on his face. The movie itself is making me wonder how hard it would be to intentionally have a five o'clock shadow continuously.